One More Underperformer

I couldn’t remember the name of the Alphasmart computers (Neo and Dana), which I would have liked to mention in last week’s Star article about the OLPC, aka the $188 laptop, aka the XO. (alphasmart link) (Star link)

As well, due to space, two paragraphs of criticism (as voiced by others) were cut. I’ve included the omitted material below, along with the paragraph above and below the cuts, making a tidy little sandwich, for anyone who desperately wants the unedited version…

Since being announced in January 2005, the OLPC project has endured a series of setbacks, including, most significantly, an inability to meet its target price of $100. Although a $188 laptop is still pretty incredible (a price achieved through economies of scale, a Linux operating system, and a non-Intel processor), the long delay between announcement and actualization has meant that the OLPC has endured a cycle of initial rumour, buzz, praise, excitement, creeping doubt, severe skepticism and backlash – all before anyone had actually seen, touched or road-tested one of the damn things.

Cyrus Farivar, writing in a September 24, 2007 Slate article, asked, “What good is a laptop in the middle of rural Thailand when electricity, much less Internet access, are spotty at best? Rather than getting laptops into the hands of every schoolchild across the world, why not start with an intermediate step? Probably because One Blackboard per Child or One Teacher per Classroom just doesn't sound as sexy.”

Meanwhile, designer and BusinessWeek blogger Bruce Nussbaum declared the XO a failure in September of last year because it “was, almost in every way, a traditional top down product development, that involved the rural children in India, Africa and China only in the late stage.” Elaborating further in the comments section of his blog, he wrote, “Unless there is a universal design thing going on, the idea that rich, urban American kids and poor, rural Indian kids will want to access the net and learn from the same computer is wrong-headed and naive.”

An 88-per-cent cost overrun is not something to be ignored or easily forgiven, especially since it means that governments in developing countries have to pay more to receive fewer laptops. Still, I'll begin my defense of the XO by pointing out that it's so cute. With a pair of green Wi-Fi antennae, an elegant built-in handle and a nifty circle-and-x child icon, who could resist giving this little green computer bug a hug?

My Ideas of 2007

A few of the ideas I caught this year, a la New York Times Magazine's Year in Ideas:

- Computational Photography. This is a new photographic technique in which you can merge dozens or hundreds of different photographs (and angles, lighting, etc) into one composite image. “One powerful way to do computational photography is to take multiple shots of a scene and mathematically combine those images. […] Compared with a single photo, a sequence of shots taken with different exposures can capture a scene with a wide range of brightness, called the dynamic range.”

- Semi-Electronic Book, The. A new digital/non-digital book called blueBook, created by designer Manolis Kelaidis, was recently demonstrated at an O’Reilly conference on the future of publishing. If you find a word or image in a blueBook text that you want to know more about, simply touch the word/image and the electrically conductive ink sends a message, via Bluetooth, to a nearby computer/laptop, which then provides additional information. The idea is that the technology is a mix of ebook and paper book, instead of the usual either/or.

- Screen Clutter Detection. This is a piece of software that determines when a map, visual display (like say a radar screen), or a computer desktop is growing too visually complex to be navigated with ease. “A team of MIT scientists has identified a way to measure visual clutter. Their research, published Aug. 16 in the Journal of Vision, could lead to more user-friendly displays and maps, as well as tips for designers seeking to add an attention-grabbing element to a display.”

- Famous For Almost Nothing. A recent Sunday Styles article profiled someone whose fame (such that it was) was due to his clever and prolific comments on the blogs of others. Add to this list the “Don’t tase me bro” guy who was crowd controlled at a John Kerry event, and the YouTube video of the fellow pleading for people to stop being mean to Britney Spears. There is famous for being famous, but these examples demonstrate that even a microscopic accomplishment can be leveraged into the trappings of celebrity.

- Wireless Electricity. Scientists are now able to transmit/transfer electricity over short distances, safely, without wires. Recharging our numerous gadgets represents one large application of this breakthrough.

- Robot Code of Ethics, The. “South Korea is drafting an ethical charter to govern how robots will function alongside humans. The Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Energy said the government plans to issue a "Robot Ethics Charter" for manufacturers and users to cover the ethical standards that must be programmed into the machines.” Such a notion was first articulated by Isaac Asimov in a 1942 short story.

- Convincing Corporate Apology, The. After the JetBlue debacle earlier this year, David Neeleman, the CEO of the airline sent a heartfelt, open and honest apology for the distress and inconvenience he caused customers. I have a copy of the email he sent to JetBlue customers, and it is striking for its lack of corporate speak (“We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry. […] Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration and inconvenience that we caused. […] You deserved better—a lot better—from us last week.”).

- Interactive Movie, The. The film Late Fragment, which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival, revolves around different three characters, and viewers at a special console can decide which of the three characters they want to focus upon, along with choosing what order their stories are told.

- Risk-Taking is Situational, Not Personality-Driven. “New research shows that not all risk is created equal and people show a mixture of both risky and non-risky behaviors. […] The University of Michigan research refutes the standard theories of risk that group people as either risk-seeking or risk-avoiding, and suggests that we can have a mix of both risky and non-risky behavior depending on the type.”

- Talking Fashion Mirror, The. Bloomingdale’s in Manhattan launched a talking mirror this year. The interactive mirror features a camera that relays live video images to an Internet site where online participants can view outfits.

- Frozen Wall For Oil. Shell is attempting to get at oil-shale deposits in Utah, Colorado and Wyoming using a huge, frozen wall of water. “Shell is spending $30 million to create and test a massive "freeze wall" that would extend from the surface to 1,700 feet below the ground. The walls would be 30 feet thick in a shape 300 feet wide by 350 feet long. It is designed for a dual purpose: to keep groundwater from infiltrating Shell's oil-shale wells, and to prevent produced oil from contaminating nearby groundwater.”

- Waste Heat Makes Sound Which Makes Electricity. “A team of doctoral students led by University of Utah physicist Orest Symko have constructed a device that "converts heat into sound and then into electricity." They believe it could work as an alternative to photovoltaic cells and be in production in two years. The project was funded by the US military as a way to harness the waste heat produced by radar systems and power electronics in the field.”

- Prenatal Search Engine Optimization. Newest on the list of concerns for status-conscious parents-to-be is the search for a baby name that will Google effectively.

A Less Tender Walrus Edit

(Yet again, something I wrote in 2007 that I'm only now posting in 2008).

I put on the kid gloves for my recent edit of a Field Notes piece that appeared in the Walrus. I will not extend the same courtesy to the unpolished turd that was dropped into the September 2007 issue.

Creative Destruction
The bright side of roadwork

BANFF — When David Bledge [Who is Bledge? A tourist? Somebody? Nobody? Help me out here] arrived in Banff from Scotland, he was greeted by everything the town is famous for — mountain views, unspoiled wilderness, and elk grazing on the golf course. But he also found the postcard view of Cascade Mountain at the end of Banff Avenue marred by earthmoving machines and piles of freshly excavated dirt, as the town replaces its century-old sewage and water pipes. “Well, I suppose it’s necessary,” Bledge said philosophically. “We’ll enjoy it the next time we come.” [Great first paragraph, except for the fact that Bledge is a mystery man.]

But the town wants its four million annual visitors to enjoy themselves right now. So a million-dollar spin campaign, “Banff Refreshing,” has been launched, featuring “street-ambassadors, way-finding signs, business liaison and in-destination marketing.” [From what are you quoting from? The reader might get more of a charge out of knowing that this is a pamphlet or a press release or what have you.] “Enjoy as we refresh!” urge the banners posted along Banff Avenue, which is lined with blue construction hoarding and roars with diggers. It’s not an easy sell. [Other than the quote with no attribution, this paragraph is also fine. Not sure what you’re building toward, but that’s cool. I sense that the payoff is coming soon.]

The $22.8-million project, which began in March and should finish next spring, includes a cosmetic makeover of Banff’s downtown core. Rest spots, landscaping pickup/drop-off zones, and new lighting will make Banff’s streetscape more reflective of its National Park setting, not to mention pedestrian friendly, we are told. [Told by whom? Big brother? Weird, ominous tone introduced, as if the spin campaign were lying to us.] In the meantime, welcome stands offer refreshing [Ha! You’ve repeated the word refreshing. Very clever] guides to the 172 shops and services in the Refreshing Zone, [ha-ha, you repeated refreshing again, albeit this time referring to an official section of Banff] where street performers, fluorescent-suited traffic directors, and hard-hatted construction workers compete for visitors’ attention. Mountain-themed photo backdrops allow visitors to pose on a putting green, a mountaintop, or a ski slope without having to leave the (in)conveniences of town. [The brackets around (in) aren’t the strongest thing in the world. I’m also starting to wonder about where this piece is headed. Is the entire article about the attempts to distract tourists from the fact that Banff is updating infrastructure? Or is this article about the fact that Banff Inc. would rather have visitors stick to the downtown core, spend all their money, and (irony of ironies) not actually bother looking at the scenery?]

One public relations tactic has caught on with both the locals and the tourists, however — the Banff Refreshing [There’s that word again. Not quite as funny the third time, methinks] squirrels. Clutching their assorted cleanup tools, Gillroy, Abigail, Rochelle, Peter, Herman, and Penelope [Listing all the names is funny and clever] represent the various squirrel species in Banff National Park. Their tracks, painted onto sidewalks and pathways, guide visitors into the Refreshing Zone. [Fourth time on the refresh button.] Just kitschy enough to be hip, the squirrel signs posted around town were promptly stolen or vandalized. When the town council of nearby Canmore seized Gillroy, the Crag & Canyon, Banff’s local paper, ran a photo of an RCMP officer returning him to Banff’s mayor. The surviving species now have to be squirrelled away at night. [Take this the wrong way: the squirrel pun is weak. You’re in Reader’s Digest or Ziggy territory here.]

Law-abiding sightseers can “earn” [What is with the f**king obsession with quote marks in “humour” articles? They aren’t serving their “intended” purpose] squirrel buttons whenever they shop at designated stores downtown. The “porn pin” [Argh!] — a squirrel clutching a tape measure that extends like an erection — is especially popular. [How positively naughty old chap. You sir, got the edge right there.]

“Visitors love the squirrels, especially the kids,” says Neil Wedin, who works at the Banff Books & Art Den on Banff Avenue. When they come in grumbling about the maze outside, he offers them a conciliatory button, and they calm right down.

Local interpretive guide Kevin Gedling [That would be the third person you’ve introduced into 650 word story. Not the smartest idea] has also volunteered to take visitors on a ninety-minute walk he calls “Welcome to Banff: Always a Construction Zone.” And for anyone intrepid enough to venture out of town, [Ha, ha, ha. The tension of the piece revolves around the fact that the piece has no tension! That anytime you want to escape the work being done in Banff, you can just *leave* the downtown area and commune with nature. This is a non-story, written in a non-compelling fashion. How very clever indeed!] it’s a five-minute walk to the quiet trails along the Bow River. No spending or banners or buttons required. Now that’s refreshing. [I was hoping you’d combine a squirrel joke with a refreshing joke, but I got greedy. Just so you know, like an Andy Kaufman meta-comedy riff, “refreshing” was really, really, really funny the fifth time you used it. Hilarious, in fact.]

Smart Set and Helvetica

A new journal published my Helvetica piece. (link). This makes me happy.

I'll hopefully have a few more substantial postings in the next few weeks.

Rage Against the Rage

A significant part of me wants to agree, unreservedly, with Stephen Marche, and his rant against CanLit. (link) But I’ve read a bunch of versions of such rants before, and so, at the very least, the novelty factor has evaporated for me. I hope Nathan Whitlock over at [TK] has the time to interrogate Marche’s rage thoroughly. For now, I offer a few, polite bullet points.

* If Brooklyn does it better, then stay in Brooklyn. I’m not being glib when I type this. I mean it. Both of Marche’s books have been reviewed in the New York Times Book Review. If Canada isn’t willing to celebrate him, then move to NY permanently, cause Canada ain’t changing anytime soon.

* The entire major prize scene for CanLit is a rickety hunk of crap that cannot be trusted to dole out awards based on merit. Kinda like the Oscars. I realize that in terms of recognition and sales, it’s all fiction writers in this country have, but you can’t be shocked (shocked!) to discover reverse ageism in the Gillers. It is disingenuous for someone as smart as Marche to suggest otherwise.

* McSweeney’s has done as much good as it has done bad. I haven’t read either McSweeney’s or the Believer for a long time. I’m glad they exist, but I’m even gladder I don’t have to read them anymore.

* There is more innovation in CanLit then Marche gives credit to (Coach House, and, um, Coach House). It’s just that innovation isn’t always linked with recognition and sales and big prizes. Sometimes the reward of being innovative is the knowledge that you’re being innovative.

* Foer’s second book was horrible. Really horrible. Innovation by itself is not necessarily a useful virtue.

* Although it is lame to rebut an argument by coming up with an example that runs counter to the rant, I will point out that there is a man named Douglas Coupland who publishes fiction in this country. As I understand, he sells more than a few copies of each of his novels. While perhaps he isn’t Foer or Franzen, he isn’t Atwood either.

* Most interesting sentence to build a fresh argument around: “The question is really whether CanLit as a phenomenon is more than one generation long.” Now there is a question worth answering. That grabbed me. There is a good thesis for a future essay.

* I enjoyed the part where Marche attacks the Gillers and CBC for being too boomer-centric, but omits the part where Heather O’Neill won the CBC Canada Reads competition. Whoops.

* Also, attacking the boomers is the worst type of straw man argument. It was valid nine years ago. Now it doesn’t ring true for me.

There are a tremendous number of things that are not right with fiction in this country. But I think we can debate these wrongs in a more effective way. I agree with Marche in principle, but not with the way he has decided to argue his points. Both of his books have received plenty of attention, and both were published by major publishing houses. He’s very young (31!) and very talented. He’ll get his Giller nod one day, hopefully on his own terms. But for now, be patient Marche.

Or move.

Tea, Coffee or MMP?

My friend Dennis Pilon had an excerpt from his new book on voting system reform in the Star yesterday. (link) It is worth reading.

Dennis is also block-rocking the CBC.ca (link)

If you are so inclined, vote for MMP this Wednesday. If you are not so inclined, you're a silly-head.

My Zombie Ate My Homework

(Again, written last year but posted only now.)

Mark Kingwell, Globe and Mail column, September 15, 2007:

Or take the recent spate of updated zombie movies, such as Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later or Zach Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake. In contrast to the original George Romero classics, these films feature the so-called fast zombie, which can move with the speed of a cheetah and materialize in seconds to begin a feast of the victim's brains.

Josh Levin, Slate.com, March 24, 2004:

It wasn't long ago that the cinematic undead obeyed the first law of corpse locomotion: A zombie might bleed on you, bite you, or rip out your ribcage, but wouldn't beat you in the 40-yard dash. Along with the Dawn remake, this new breed of souped-up zombie has appeared in recent movies like 28 Days Later (2002), Resident Evil (2002), and House of the Dead (2003). Why, all of a sudden, are the walking dead in such a rush? (link)

A good trend is like the undead, forever among us.

Will Ferguson, Ferguson Refrigeration

Will Ferguson has a short piece in the current issue of the Walrus (link). It is funny and well-written. It also serves as a free ad for his new novel. Ferguson does this sort of thing quite often, and it used to bother me tremendously. Specifically, he wrote an exceedingly irritating and self-serving piece in the Globe a few years ago, berating Canadians for not being clever enough to appreciate his crappy debut novel.

But when I read his Walrus piece, I realized that Will Ferguson is in the Will Ferguson business, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him. In his defense, perhaps Canadian authors should learn from his self-promotional abilities.

But what really helped me remain calm was four simple words: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. If you’ve seen The Office, you’ll know what I’m talking about. And once you realize Bob Vance and Will Ferguson are the same thing, it’s hard to stay mad at Ferguson’s cult of Ferguson.

NYT Vs. Karen Von Hahn

From the August 26, 2007 New York Times (Ten Things to Do Before This Article Is Finished by Alex Williams):

Evidence of the lists’ surging popularity is all around. The travel writer Patricia Schultz currently has two “1,000 Places to See Before You Die” books lodged on The New York Times paperback advice best-seller list, two in an avalanche of recent life-list books, like “1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die” and “101 Things to Do Before You Turn 40.”

In December, Warner Brothers will release Rob Reiner’s “Bucket List,” starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as cancer patients who set out on a series of life-list adventures, including a Harley ride on the Great Wall of China.

Multiple life-list oriented social-networking Web sites have cropped up, inviting strangers to share their lists and offer mutual encouragement. Even Madison Avenue has chimed in. Visa is currently running a print campaign built around a checklist called “Things to Do While You’re Alive” (and credit-worthy, presumably).

From the September 15, 2007 Globe and Mail Style Section (1,001 things to buy before you die by Karen Von Hahn):

There are books, from Patricia Schultz's 1,000 Places to see Before You Die - which has been lodged for weeks on bestseller lists and is, rather off-puttingly for those about to board a plane, a current fixture in airport bookstores - to possibly 1,000 other BYD guides to getting the most out of your dwindling existence (things you must eat, movies to see ... perhaps someone should do a guide to the 1,000 things you should read BYD next).

The same ghoulish list-making has inspired a novel (The Next Thing on My List) and a Rob Reiner film called The Bucket List, about two terminally ill buddies, to be released to weepy, sugar-loaded audiences at Christmas. And, of course, there are Facebook applications: In My Life lets you "find people trying to reach the same goals in life as you ... anything from riding a polar bear to walking on water."

I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: WE HAVE THE INTERNET HERE IN CANADA. Why is Von Hahn being paid a significant amount of money to badly recycle a much better article published in a much better newspaper? And why is it taking her two weeks to re-type said article?

Plug for My Journalism Course at UofT Starting Oct.1

Hello. I'm teaching The Freelance Writing Business this fall at UofT SCS. Monday nights, eight sessions, starting October 1. This course is designed to help writers make the transition into full or part-time work as a freelance writer. It's a mix of writing tips and business advice. Fun and practical.

Please visit learn.utoronto.ca for more info.