My Demographic is Officially Irrelevant

I had one of those "my life is over" moments upon discovering that there is now a radio format called Classic Alternative. According to Chris Nelson, in the January 12, 2004 New York Times:

Like the classic rock format that started in the mid-1980's to cater to aging baby boomers, classic alternative -- with new songs from retro-alternative bands like the White Stripes and the Strokes thrown into the mix on some stations -- appeals to Generation X'ers who are beginning to show some gray.

The only bright spot in the article was this:

On Dec. 18 at noon, the modern rock station KNDD-FM "the End" announced on the air that it was returning to its roots. Dumped immediately were rap rock and modern metal bands like Limp Bizkit and Puddle of Mudd. They were replaced by familiar voices from the alternative rock explosion of the early 1990's: Nirvana, R.E.M., Weezer and Beck, as well as predecessors like the Clash and Sex Pistols.

Long ago, in the Onion, was the headline U.S. Depart. of Retro Warns: ‘We May Be Running Out of Past.’ According to U.S. Retro Secretary Anson Williams:

"Before long," Williams warned, "the National Retro Clock will hit 1992, and we will witness a massive grunge-retro explosion, which will overlap with the late-period, mainstream-pop remnants of the original grunge movement itself. For the first time in history, a phenomenon and nostalgia for that particular phenomenon will actually meet."