A few months ago someone asked me what I thought of cocktails by the bottle. I thought the idea was silly. But since my journalist friend was looking for a quote, I spent a few minutes finding a more verbose and overly clever way of saying that:
"I've tried and enjoyed cocktails from scratch and barrel-aged cocktails. But bottled cocktails appear to be designed for status-obsessed folks who find traditional bottle service insufficiently douche-y."
"Bottled cocktails negate the entire premise of a bartender tailoring a drink around your favourite spirit or bitter. A pitcher of beer, sure. But walking into a bar with four friends and ordering a bottle of Manhattans is a negation of free will. Groupthink maybe. Groupdrink never."
It turned out that my friend was looking for a quote in favour of the trend. So I didn't get quoted. Oh well.