Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Bad Cop-Out, No Doughnut

I was pretty close to checking out the Krispy Kreme job fair yesterday at the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Toronto (or rather, according to the ad, a holding pen located beside the Hotel). The starting wage of $8 an hour wasn’t very appealing (although I’m not exactly getting rich off blogging) but the dozen free doughnuts per week caught my eye.

[Editor’s note: 12 Krispy Kremes cost $5.99 plus tax.]

I wonder if there was a line-up overnight to try and get a job, much as there are nutbars who spend two weeks camping out in the parking lot of Krispy Kreme so that they can be first in line:

Annie Lewis' mission came to an end at 5:28 a.m. on Tuesday as she landed a spot in the record books with a sugary confection as her reward.

Lewis waited excitedly with hundreds of eager customers as the doors opened and her 12-year-old son, Gregg Pullano, turned on the store's famous Hot Light, indicating to doughnut lovers that it was finally time to sample the sweet confections.

Lewis, a registered nurse, isn't the average customer. She and Gregg camped out for almost two weeks on the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts parking lot, 2129 Lake Lansing Road, breaking the previous national Krispy Kreme camp-out record by one day

So, yes, the KK job fair. A few years ago I wanted to do a short squib for Saturday Night, back when they had The Passing Show section, a cobble of small "magazine-y" bits curious, funny, and meant-to-be-funny. I suggested covering the Taco Bell job fair at the mall two blocks up the street from where I lived at the time. After walking by the empty store Taco Bell had converted into the "fair" -- which consisted of a few chairs and scuffed folding tables, along with badly photocopies application forms -- I felt more than a little uncomfortable. Poking even gentle fun at those who genuinely want a terrible job is not something I felt I could effectively pull off.

In the case of yesterday’s Krispy Kreme employment expo, I was more interested in the size and shape of the cattle call. The ad says they’re looking for "40 enthusiastic individuals" for their retail KREW. So what I want to know is: how many people showed up? (As I write this entry it is Tuesday evening, and I’m willing to bet that either the Post or the Globe or the Star, maybe all three, will mention something about it tomorrow – which is now today, if you follow me.)

Still, had I been whisked off my feet by magical powdered sugar dreams at the fair, perhaps I could have applied for a management position with KK. Doughnut King has a nice ring to it.