Brand Skanking New

Eons ago (Fall of 2001), Billeh Nickerson (a fellow Arsenalian) sent a letter asking me to contribute to Skank: a Book of Questionable Tastes, an anthology that he was co-editing with Michael V. Smith. The project, initially scheduled to be published in Spring of 2003, was first delayed before eventually being declared kiboshed, meaning the only way my little prose poem submission will see publication is here. For your enjoyment:

The Tail of the Tape

Sluts spoon; skanks spork
Sluts rehearse; skanks improvise
Sluts are frizzy; skanks are greasy
Sluts are needy; skanks are greedy
Sluts are fleshy; skanks are skinny
Sluts rinse clean; skanks leave stains
Sluts project auras; skanks emit odours
Sluts rent costumes; skanks build wardrobes
Sluts prune hedges; skanks neglect shrubbery
Sluts endure carpet burn; skanks suffer shag rug burn
Sluts are citizens of Slutsville; skanks roost in Skanksterdam
Sluts are too young to know better; skanks are too old to care
Sluts wear spandex pants; skanks squeeze into acid-washed jeans
Sluts earn frequent flyer points; skanks receive lifetime achievement awards

Ryan Bigge’s memoir Slunk: Trapped Between Slut and Skank is currently being fleshed out.